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Searching for a Stream

by Garden Centre

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    Garden Centre "Searching for a Stream" on yellow vinyl (shipping from the US).

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1.
I am the curator Of my own hall of fame All of the best fighters Honored with a portrait When big scarred men appear To accept their place in history I grin from ear to ear Asleep on my desktop I don’t want to meet the stars I just want to watch them turn up I don’t want to be the boss Just flecked with the blood from the big man’s glove The glove that’s connected to the arm That’s connected to the ribcage surrounding the heart All of the hall that I have in my head give heart to a sport that means nothing at all I don’t want to meet the stars I just want to watch them turn up I don’t want to be the boss Just flecked with the blood from the big man’s glove Just flecked with the blood from the big man’s glove
2.
Shock Site 01:47
One evening in the bedroom of a friend you show me a hidden world A dark stream running underneath the pavement that we walk upon A crisp smile is on your mouth but not in your eyes I think about the way that room smelled for the rest of my life In a sexual congress, two naïve teenagers Without ever really touching, but rubbing nonetheless In the glow of the CRT you grow inside of me Shock site scrolling in reflection on my glasses endlessly This is not first time porno watching with Finn Bibby in his mother’s study Ice cube slowly melting, watching a beheading One evening in the bedroom of a friend you show me a hidden world
3.
Chicken 03:12 video
Driving down a single lane road I met A woman in a dark blue Volkswagen There was no safe place for us to pass Playing at the game of chicken A slow crash coming any day Cannot be avoided Standing at the side of the road with our hands on our hips Two winners at the game of chicken My hand automatically raises up in a salute At an unknown number of magpies roosting in a bush Thieving little birds Thieving little birds Thieving little birds The crows move across this field like a search party A CD skips in the dark blue beetle A slow crash coming any day Cannot be avoided The spinning of a CD skipping The winning of a game of chicken Metal hulks lying in the lane Beetles on their backs Wriggling in vain As real as superstition flying on the wing As real as anything
4.
The smoke of an aeroplane tumbling out of the sky – I do not clock it All of the animals slithering out of their holes – I cannot see them I am talking on the phone to you I am talking on the phone to you I am talking on the phone somewhere in the warm air I cannot feel the absence of my keys in my pocket – I cannot feel it Or the absence of the dog that has run across the dual carriageway – I cannot see him I am talking on the phone to you I am talking on the phone to you I am talking on the phone somewhere in the warm air
5.
Dirt Bike 02:38
You came up to me at work Said there was something you’d been thinking of Something that you’d rather talk about outside So I unhooked my coat Shut my computer down and wrote a note To my boss saying I’d be leaving early on lunch You started talking fast as soon as soon as you got out the door I said ‘hold up, could you slow down. I do not understand’ Lift door is closing Telling myself this is nothing This is definitely nothing I am panicking for nothing You started talking fast as soon as soon as you got out the door I said ‘hold up, could you slow down. I do not understand’ And you did, but I still couldn’t hear a thing There was a kid on a dirt bike Coming loudly up behind You started talking fast as soon as soon as you got out the door I said ‘hold up, could you slow down. I do not understand’ And you did, but I still couldn’t hear a thing There was a kid on a dirt bike Coming loudly up behind
6.
Stream running round My hairy ankles They’re going numb in Icy December water running round I cannot feel My crooked toe or crooked thought Running through my mind and gathering weight: a snowball made of bitter ice it seems I cackle to myself But when you’re sitting on my chest all the muscles in my arms and legs relax I sink into the bed when you’re lying on my chest With numb body parts slimy from the stream I walk home to the warmest o worn in sheets You roll onto your back like a pup You vibrate like an electric toothbrush Putting my foot into a slipper I Feel something warm and wriggling It is a bat with half its wing chewed off It is a gift you bought me But when you’re sitting on my chest all the muscles in my arms and legs relax I sink into the bed when you’re lying on my chest
7.
Thin 02:21
Thin thin thin Thin is the canvas spread on the floor of the ring Thin thin Taught from where that body fell again Patience wearing thin Eyes open at four AM searching For that perfect stream Crystal water flowing over me Thin is everything Thin sheet pegged on the line against the wind Arms are brittle thin Skull can’t keep anything out like The greatest show on Earth It is the only show I know Always yearning To see that glove connected To be knocked down on an arse that isn’t yours Thin thin thin Somebody else’s tested chin Somebody else’s will to win I’m a human being with nothing in
8.
Tannoy 02:48
I am a train guard working Southwestern I don’t like my job, but I have my fun I like to make a joke out of my boredom On the tannoy But today I don’t feel like joking at all I stayed up all night Watched the big fight I watched Gerald McClellan fall If Don King wasn’t such an evil man If the Dark Destroyer didn’t have such a big right hand The people sat like sardines on this morning train Would not be in silence as they sped through the rain I forgive you Now that you have all the time in the world Is there room for Nigel Benn in your heart If you overstep your mark you are pushed down in the dirt
9.
Is that pickup in your driveway just like it used to be? Your dad’s Mitsubishi truck resting heavy on its leaf springs A drunk walk down your road remembering where you lived Is that pickup in your driveway holding all our empty cans? Doing perfect backflips on your trampoline Patch of dead grass where it used to be I creep closer to the window You are nowhere to be seen I sneak round the back Crunching on the crumbled concrete This is the moment that I realize I have gone too far hear An uncalled for weird stare through the window of the kitchen Doing perfect backflips on your trampoline Patch of dead grass where it used to be Somebody draws the curtain It is not you It is a perfect stranger I am in their garden rooted to the spot Beer can in my hand looking at them straight in the eye Perfect stranger
10.
Cobwebs spreading from the space under the desk In the basement flat I am the only tenant I never thought I was an empath now But I get this feeling I mistake for self doubt As I try and find a stream of a football game No I don’t support a team, I don’t care who wins Because I’ve been let down time and time again I haven’t seen you for a million years Big fake eyelashes wet with tears When we first met you were five years old Now the crow’s feet spread from your eyes like a spider’s web You can’t get happiness on your own I don’t think happiness happens at all When you’re not in touch with the physical world When you don’t need a body just a brain So we’ll set off on a long earned holiday Down the canal on a boat full of wine Dressed like children playing video games In the space in-between the sofa and the TV set
11.
Pool Ball 02:38
Grabbing hold of a small thing smooth and round from the table I am holding a pool ball in the palm of my hand My whole hand is filled up All of its volume So often unfilled by cutlery or pen My plan is to throw it Across the school field That I’ve broken back onto I am 18 A field is a venue, it’s nothing at all A space to be taken by throwing a ball Apple on a tree, pool ball in the hand It flies through the air and makes holes in the ground
12.
Valley 02:41
Walking with the dogs very late at night Across the valley a curious point of light Waiting for a train Slice the sky up Some hope of glimpsing passengers No luck, I missed the last one Beyond the railway bridge the strange light still beams Is it some home waiting for a visitor each night? Is it a hole under the hill full of demons? If I walk to the source of the light will I be made welcome? Will there be fresh sheets to soil? Fresh table linen to befoul with mess? Will there be a door? Will there be anything at all? I arrive at the light The dogs run in circles around it A telephone mast under maintenance The operatives left their spotlight on

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released May 19, 2023

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Garden Centre Brighton, UK

At first we met in the greenhouse, then progressed to the dump. Now we are in a hole.
gardencentreband@gmail.com

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